


maybe we should just try to tell ourselves a good lie

by ThatLesbianFangirl



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, i'm taking her current mentality and running with it!, post 5x01, sorta? mostly on lena's end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 13:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21016865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatLesbianFangirl/pseuds/ThatLesbianFangirl
Summary: When Lena fails to send Andrea the file on Supergirl, CatCo’s new CEO retaliates by publishing click-bait “news” of Lena Luthor’s relationship with Kara Danvers. Although furious, Lena takes advantage of the situation, thinking the article could aid in truly breaking Kara’s heart. This farce couldn’t possibly lead to real feelings. Of course not.





	maybe we should just try to tell ourselves a good lie

**Author's Note:**

> A one-shot I couldn’t get out of my head since the season premiere. I hope you enjoy it!

“Ms. Luthor. Ms. Luthor. Ms. Luthor.”

Lena awoke to the monotonous sound of her AI repeating her name. “Hope, I thought I turned off my alarm for today.”

“My alarm setting is off, Ms. Luthor. I am informing you of twenty-four missed calls from Kara Danvers and a google alert, notifying my data basis of an article published about you.”

Lena rubbed the sleep from her eyes and grumbled, “What article? About my Pulitzer presentation last night?”

“It is one of the topics mentioned, yes.”

The Luthor rolled her eyes. If Kara had written another sappy article about how “good” Lena was, she might throw up. Despite the mixed emotions of confusion, euphoria, and respite that came with Kara’s sincere apologies, Lena’s rage still simmered. Anger burned in her chest, as if Kara had poured kerosene directly into her aorta. Lena refused to let one honest night replace the lies. The betrayal. So she begrudgingly sat up and opened her phone to read CatCo’s morning headline: _ Lena Luthor’s Steamy, Secret Relationship_. “What the _ fuck_?!”

Mouth agape in horror, she skimmed through the entire article Andrea Rojas had published with William Dey on the byline. It revealed every private boarding school tryst in detail, but the worst offense was the fabricated relationship constituting the article’s title. Rojas wrote that Lena and Kara were dating, that she had only sold CatCo to make their relationship appropriate, and “sources” informed Dey that Lena had been in love with Kara for years. Lena scoffed as she read through the transcript of her Pulitzer speech, depicting how her tears welled and voice cracked while giving a “romantically charged delivery.” Dey, who Lena didn’t even remember attending the event, noted how the pair “shared an intimate embrace” and “spoke words privy to only each other’s ears during their lingering hold.” 

Lena would have thrown her phone across the room if she weren’t already furiously dialing Andrea’s number. “Delete it. Recall the paper.”

“Well good morning to you, too Lena,” Andrea slyly replied. 

“Cut the crap, Andrea. Take your fake news down.”

“Sweetie, it’s already been online for more than five minutes. You and I both know removing the post would do absolutely nothing.”

Lena sharply exhaled, “I should have never partnered with you.”

“No. You should have kept your word,” Andrea flatly stated. “You promised a ‘major story outing someone important to National City.’ When you failed to upload a file, I picked my own person to out.”

“Unearthing my boarding school relationships was low.”

“Probably. But you can’t go running back to your beard Jimmy now, can you?” Andrea clicked her tongue. “You should be proud; CatCo subscriptions and comment revenue are officially off the charts.”

Lena hung up and muttered, “Bitch.” Then she scrolled through her stocks, knowing that public outings never do wonders for a business. Pleasantly surprised by the lack of avalanche, Lena’s curiosity got the better of her and she clicked back into CatCo’s article for the comment section. She ignored the few crude or homophobic blurbs and focused on what real people were saying. One commenter noted how it made sense–– when Lena was seen in public, it was always beside Kara. Another commenter said they had also attended the ceremony and “they seemed like a cute couple.” The comment that truly caught Lena’s eye, was from an anonymous CatCo staff member. The employee recounted how Kara had always made a huge deal about defending Lena, to a disruptive manner; how Kara always seemed to be in love with Lena right from the start. Lena smirked. Perhaps what originated as an annoyance, could be turned into a perfect opportunity.

“Hope.”

“Yes, Ms. Luthor?”

“I programmed you not to understand human emotion, but still able to process observable datum. Can you scan any footage of Kara and myself for her physiological signs of enamorment?”

After only a few moments, Hope responded, “Scan complete. Kara Danvers’ consistent prolonged eye contact, laughter, dilated pupils, flushed cheeks, lip bites, and tendency to tilt her head place her at 87.62% likelihood of physical and emotional attraction to you.”

Lena’s eyes darkened. “Then breaking Kara’s heart just became incredibly more feasible.”

...

Lena threw on her best three-piece suit and marched straight into L-Corp. If people were going to gawk, she’d at least look her best. Today she needed to be confident. And cunning. 

As the elevator doors opened to her top floor, Jess frantically shuffled over to walk in-step with Lena. “Ms. Luthor, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know how she got there, but Ms. Danvers is waiting in your office.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Lena rolled her eyes. Of course Supergirl let herself in.

Kara nearly leapt off the couch when Lena entered the room. “I flew here as soon as I read the article. Are you okay?”

“Being the topic of hushed gossip doesn’t faze me anymore.” Lena shrugged. “I’m a professional pariah at this point.”

Kara paused, taken aback by Lena’s casual tone. “I know we said no more secrets last night, but I understand you still keeping your sexuality, you know...If it’s true?”

“It is.”

The Kryptonian’s lips parted, then closed, deciding on the right question. “So, even Roulette?” 

_ Wrong question_. “Yes. But is that really what you wanted to ask, Kara?”

“Well,” Kara started, “I know the other part of the article– the dating thing– wasn’t true. But, uh. I was wondering.” She nervously cleared her throat. “I was wondering if maybe that _ other _, other part could be true?”

“If I’m romantically interested in you?” Lena asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Kara looked down, nervously adjusting the glasses that Lena knew she didn’t actually need. “I didn’t want to start with that. Since everything that happened last night, I wasn’t sure if we were really in a good place–”

“We’re in a great place,” Lena lied.

“Good,” Kara sighed in relief. The smile that spread across her face almost made Lena feel guilty. Almost. 

Instead, Lena set the bait. “In all honesty, there’s truth in Dey’s words.” Feigning embarrassment, she added, “I hope it doesn’t bother you.”

Kara shook her head. “No, no the opposite. I guess I never considered it because of the Supergirl thing. But now you know the whole me.” Kara stepped closer. “Now it could make sense.”

_ Why is this so easy? _ Lena cocked her head, “You’re open to the idea of dating me?”

Kara tentatively reached for Lena’s hand, “I am.”

The pair set a dinner date for Friday evening and when Kara giddily waltzed out of her office, Lena frowned and crossed her arms. She convinced herself that the fluttering in her chest was solely due to excitement for reprisal.

…

Lena smoothed out her dress, adjusting the neckline to further accentuate her cleavage. She knew this level of deception wasn’t sustainable for long; her patience had limits. Therefore, the Luthor knew she had to step up her charm and allure. After applying a second layer of maroon lipstick for good measure, she texted her driver. Lena purposely planned a fashionably late entrance, because (according to Hope’s analysis) the twelve minutes would build the perfect amount of anticipatory adrenaline. With adrenaline comes heightened emotions, and heightened emotions would certainly speed up the process. Lena had never thought about feelings in such a calculated manner before, but then again, she had never felt so completely broken.

When Lena walked through the restaurant door, Kara was already seated at a candlelit table. The blonde wore her hair down in soft waves against her bare shoulders. The color of her dress was the same rich blue of her new Supergirl suit, and while Lena couldn’t pretend that Kara didn’t look absolutely radiant, she also mentally kicked herself. How could she have missed what was always right in front of her? No. The better question was: how could Kara think she was such an idiot? Lena felt the more convenient bubble of enmity flow through her veins and forced a smile.

“Kara,” she greeted in a deceitfully joyful tone.

Kara pulled her into a tight hug, “I was worried you changed your mind.”

Lena blankly stared outwards. “I could never change my mind about you.”

Despite her quiet anger, Lena put on a happy face and ordered a glass of Château Lafite. The two women discussed their days, commiserated over their disdain for Andrea Rojas, and blithely debated over Lena’s new breakthrough in polyatomic ion technology. With Kara’s “just a reporter” guise lifted, she spoke freely on her scientific knowledge. Their conversation was easy, intellectual, and natural, but involved more flirting than usual. At points, Lena even caught herself enjoying the dinner. Yet, thoughts of mistrust and hurt kept cycling through her mind. She resented how they could have always been this way if Kara had just never lied.

The date ended with Kara finishing two orders of tiramisu and Lena collecting the check––much to Kara’s protest.

“I ate way more than you! You have to let me pay.”

“Nonsense.” Lena waved her hand dismissively.

“At least let me walk you home?”

Lena bit her lip suggestively, “I can agree to that.”

The pair walked side by side in comfortable silence. Occasionally, their fingers would brush against the other’s. At some point, Lena grew tired of Kara’s apprehension and grabbed her hand. When they reached Lena’s apartment, Kara spoke first. “Well. We’re here.”

“Indeed we are.” Lena replied, shifting her body to face Kara fully. She noticed the way Kara’s hands fidgeted and the obvious stare fixed on Lena’s lips. So, only to further sell the charade, Lena kissed her.

Lena fell into Kara’s arms as their mouths crashed together. And for a moment, she forgot herself. The only thing running through Lena’s brain were sensory inputs. The warm, softness of Kara's lips; the firm yet gentle grasp Kara had on her waist and jawline; the delicate scent of vanilla; the way they melted into each other. Lena kissed desperately, hungrily, until they paused for air and Lena remembered everything. As Kara leaned in to continue their kiss, Lena stepped back.

“Did I do something wrong?” Kara asked, panic in her voice.

“No,” Lena immediately replied, scrambling for a convincing explanation. “I just don't want things to get too heated on our first date.”

Kara exhaled, “Oh. We can go slow.” Kara reached for Lena's hand once again, and kissed the top of her knuckles. “We have all the time in the world.”

Lena swallowed, fighting any emotion that dared enter her heart at this particular moment. Off in the distance, a siren wailed through National City’s streets. Grateful for the interruption, Lena whispered, “You should go.”

“I should.” Kara ruefully nodded. “Goodnight, Lena.” 

“Goodnight, Kara.”

Kara placed chaste kiss on Lena’s cheek, smiled with an unmatched level of adoration, and ran into the night. Lena stood catatonically for what seemed like minutes, then finally forced herself to go inside. She entered her impersonal, empty apartment to be greeted by her equally impersonal AI.

“Welcome home, Ms. Luthor. Did you enjoy your evening?”

Lena massaged her temple. “It’s not about enjoyment, Hope. It’s about following through with the plan.”

“How will this plan break Kara’s heart?”

“Simple: when she finally says ‘I love you,’ I’ll pull away. I’ll tell her it was all a lie.”

“And this would hurt Kara in the same way she hurt you?” the robotic voice inquired.

“Yes, we’ve been over this.”

“Then it can be concluded that you were in love with Kara Danvers?”

Lena’s jaw clenched.

“Ms. Luthor, do you need me to repeat the question?”

“No,” Lena responded coldly. “Never ask something like that _ ever _ again.”

…

The next day, Lena found herself back at L-Corp. It wasn’t unusual to work on weekends, but today specifically, she needed a distraction. However, around noon, she received a text from Kara.

_ “Last night was amazing. Can I take you out next Friday?” _

Lena groaned and ignored the message. She needed to focus on real work, not her progressing revenge scheme. 

A couple seconds later, Lena’s phone vibrated again. _ “My treat this time” _ signed with a red heart emoji at the end.

Lena sighed. She certainly didn’t want Supergirl showing up on her balcony if she didn’t respond, so she quickly typed out, _ “I assume we’ll be eating Chinese then?” _ and added a blushing smiley. Just to keep luring Kara into a false sense of security. 

_ “...maybe.” _

_ “It’s a date.” _ Lena turned off her phone.

Although she tried to keep Kara out of sight and out of mind until their next date, the world had other ideas. 

On Tuesday morning, a rogue alien attacked a building near L-Corp and Lena couldn’t help herself from compulsively following the news. Her fingers tapped in agitation, until the battle was finished. Lena scolded herself, chiding that she was only concerned because an injured Supergirl would take longer to date, therefore dragging out Lena’s plan. Yet, only a few minutes later, Lena looked up to find Supergirl waving through her balcony window. Kara had a black eye and a very bloody nose, but she smiled cheerily and mouthed “I’m OK” before soaring back into the sky.

On Thursday morning, Lena found a bouquet of plumerias and a bag of donuts on her desk. A small note beside the gift simply read “Can’t wait for tomorrow night! Xoxo, Kara.” She unceremoniously gave the donuts to Jess and had half a mind to toss out the flowers, but then she remembered the time she’d filled Kara’s office with flowers. When they had only known each other for a few weeks, yet Kara’s faith in her was already unbreakable. When Lena had called Kara her hero. Lena readjusted her jaw and left the plumerias on her desk. It would be a shame to waste such beautiful flowers anyway.

…

Their second date was much more casual, their table filled with enough orange chicken and potstickers to feed a six-person family. They sat in the corner of the restaurant, far away from prying eyes and ears. Once again, the conversation stayed light and flirty. Until the end of the meal when Kara stated, “Potstickers are truly the best food in the universe.”

“I suppose you would know that,” Lena said, in a harsher tone than intended.

Kara set down her chopsticks. “I can tell you all about Krypton if you’d like?” She looked upwards, as if trying to picture the stars above them. “It’s just...sad sometimes.”

Lena was taken aback by the pang of guilt suddenly present in her chest. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No.” Kara shifted her focus back to Lena. “I want to share every part of my life with you. Even the hard stuff.” Kara quickly glanced around the restaurant to make sure no one was within eavesdropping range. “For starters, my real name is Kara Zor-El.”

“Kara Zor-El,” Lena repeated. “It has a nice ring to it.”

Kara smiled, “It’s nice to hear you say it. No one calls me that anymore.” Then the Kryptonian’s smile faltered. “I lost my planet. My whole world. That’s why I _ can’t _ lose anymore.”

Kara paused, as if asking permission to continue. Lena instinctively reached across the table to hold Kara’s hand before her brain could tell her to stop. Kara interpreted the gesture as a green light and continued.

“When I came here to Earth, I thought I was done losing people. Then my aunt was somehow here and I lost her again. And there’s been so many times when I thought I was going to lose Alex…” Lena couldn’t figure out where Kara was going with her disclosure, but she noticed how the tears began to form in Kara’s eyes. “Even when Mon-el left, despite him being such a detrimental person in my life, I still felt it. So I shut down. Decided not to feel or be Kara Danvers anymore. Until you brought me back.”

Lena’s brow furrowed in surprise. “Brought you back?”

“Back into my humanity,” Kara answered. “But with that, came the realization that I still had more to lose: I could lose _ you _. I could’ve lost you at any moment. If I didn’t get there fast enough as Supergirl, or if you hated me after I told you who I was. And the thought of losing you, too? It’s unbearable, Lena.”

Lena's throat tightened and blood rushed to her ears. She had been so fixated on feeling betrayed that she never stopped to consider–

“I didn't mean to upset you!” Kara, ever observant, had clearly picked up on Lena’s discomfort. “I just wanted to explain how much it means to me that we’re here together. And I wanted to tell you, umm...”

With those words, Lena knew her plan completely fell into place. But it was too soon, and she wasn’t ready. She couldn’t speak, even if she wanted to. Lena didn’t feel satisfied; she felt numb.

“You should know that I love you, Lena. I think that I’ve loved you for a while and just buried it down because I was so scared of losing you.”

There it was, that magical phrase: I love you. The cue for Lena to utterly destroy Kara, presented on a silver platter. But her tongue felt heavy and her heart beat too quickly and her thoughts spun faster than a category five cyclone. Every ounce of rancor seemed to disappear. Lena couldn’t, no, _ wouldn’t _ ruin this moment. Kara hadn’t lost her. Not really.

“I don’t expect you to say it back, I know you have a complicated history with the idea of love. I just needed you to know where I’m at.” Kara squeezed Lena’s hand. “No more secrets, right?”

Yes, love was the most complicated emotion for Lena; love and hate were only too interchangeable. She loved her brother, but hated the monster he became. She hated Lillian, but couldn’t help loving the woman who raised her. And now there was Kara. Kara who she hated for lying. Kara who vowed to never lie again. Kara who poured her heart out and said that she loved Lena. Kara, who Lena loved back. If Lena were to deny that fact any longer, then the only liar here would be herself.

Kara gazed sincerely at Lena, and all she could do was say, “I need some air,” and leave the restaurant. 

Lena stood outside for ten minutes trying to quell the pounding in her skull. She had not fully forgiven Kara, but now at least she understood the reasoning behind Supergirl’s actions. Lena decided to officially abandon her callous scheme.

“I’m sorry,” Kara quietly announced her presence. “That was a lot. I hope what I said was okay.”

“It was exactly what I needed to hear,” Lena earnestly answered.

“Can I walk you home, again?”

Lena nodded, taking the hand offered to her. This time, when they arrived at Lena’s home, Kara merely placed a kiss on Lena’s forehead and said, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Please do.”

As Kara walked away, Lena permitted herself to miss Kara’s touch; to yearn to see Kara again; to really want to be with her. She didn’t have the energy nor the drive to fight her own emotions any longer. In the end, the only person Lena was hurting, was herself. She entered her apartment and leaned against the door to steady her shaking legs. Lena tried blinking away the tears beginning to well, wanting to simply sit in silence. Yet, Hope’s familiar robotic voice greeted her.

“Welcome home, Ms. Luthor. Did you enjoy your evening?”

“Yes.” Lena’s voice cracked. “I did.”

The AI responded, apathetic as always, “Did you complete your plan to break Kara Danver’s heart?”

“No.”

“Why did you not complete your plan?”

Lena slowly exhaled, finally allowing the tears to stream down her face. “Because I’m in love with Kara Zor-El.”

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear your thoughts! And come scream about Supercorp with me on tumblr @tht-lesbian-fangirl :)


End file.
